Does It Really "Take a Village"?

My next-door neighbors are a family from Liberia. In speaking to the mother of that family over the years, it has been interesting to hear her talk about the differences in raising children in Liberia and the U.S. In Liberia, children from several families may be over at a neighbor's house all day, and that neighbor is responsible for the children. What is understood by being responsible for the children, is that the neighbor can also discipline other people's children at her house when they step out of line, including corporal punishment. In a sense, that neighbor is acting in place of the parents. I'm guessing this is where the idea of "It Takes a Village to Raise a Child" comes from.

The left in the U.S. likes to use the "It Takes a Village" line in arguing for government intervention in child care and education. In fact, Hillary Clinton wrote a book in the mid-90s with this very theme. There is a gap though, between a private villager trying to help raise the children and having the government run more and more social programs. I've had a couple of experiences recently that I think show this.

Example 1: I have been coaching my kids in youth soccer for the past few years. This fall, I coached my son in grades 3–4 rec. soccer. We were playing a team from a neighboring suburb, and a kid on the other team had a throw-in, just a few feet from where I was standing on the sidelines. His throw-in was not directly over his head, and his back foot came off the ground. The referee blew the whistle, but gave the boy a second chance to make a good throw-in. As almost a reflex, I gave the kid from the other team the same advice I give my team when they have a throw-in (the kid's coach was on the opposite sideline).

ME: "Two feet behind the line; two hands over your head."

KID: "Don't tell me what to do."

ME: "I was just trying to help you make a good throw-in."

KID: "I don't need your help."

Example 2: Today I was at a roller-skating rink with my family. There were two boys there (I would guess that the smaller boy was probably about 8 years old; his brother was about 10 years old) who were breaking several rules of the rink, including skating the wrong direction of the flow whenever it pleased them. The kids all had glow sticks, and eventually these two boys were taking one and throwing it on the rink and then chasing it, indifferent to the other skaters. One time, the two boys slid for glow stick and wrestled for it in front of an oncoming group of kids and adults. I paused as I was skating by to tell them to knock it off:

ME: "Hey, you guys can't be wrestling around like that out here."

YOUNGER BOY: "Why?"

OLDER BOY: "You can't tell me what to do, old man."

Does it need to be said that I would never have spoken to an adult in that way?

The metaphor of "It Takes a Village" is shown to be pointless if the villagers have no part in helping to raise the children. Like in so many other ways, we are reduced to understanding that the "village" is the government, and we are the children.